Yes I know this Q&A is long overdue. I was supposed to film it but let's face it a routine is completely messed up with a newborn in the house. I am lucky that I am even able to type out this post.
As I am writing this, the little madam is making little crying sounds to get my attention, which is why if there are any mistakes please bear with me *Haha*
Firstly let me begin by saying why does nobody tell you about motherhood?
You're informed all about pregnancy and birth. You even have antenatal classes which are great, but nobody gives you an insight to reality and about how life is after??
It's like the minute you have a baby, you're left in the dark in an isolated room LOL (But it's actually a blessing once you get the hang of it and when your baby does the cutest little things.
Seeing half of you and half of your other half is such a beautiful feeling!!!
Rabia asks: "How was labour?"
This is one question I always get asked; and all I like to say is everyone has a different experience and nobody has the same experience. The reason I say that is because I had the worst possible labour ever, which took me forever to recover from. I was in labour for 3 days so we will leave it at that, as the details aren't very pretty!
Pandora asks: "How did your husband handle your labour? Was he freaking out or faint?
If I tell you guys what my husband did, you'd probably beat him with a shoe LOL! Just Kidding.
My husband was very supportive, I had him and my mum with me for all those days, and we didn't want anyone to know as I already had a high risk pregnancy.
As I was in labour for 3 days he was also exhausted, and towards the end he fell asleep and would NOT wake up! I tried, my mum tried and so did the midwife *Haha* I even resorted to going on Youtube and playing a newborn sound to wake him up - Yes whilst I was in labour loooool, but Alhamdullilah he woke up before she arrived, and the moment he held her he looked like a changed man!
Raheem's Mommy asks: "Do you strongly believe a girl should have NO visitors only immediate family as lots of people like to bombard a new mum and newborn in Asian culture?"
I am actually SO glad that somebody asked this question because I also strongly believe in this.
I absolutely hate it when people don't consider the new mum and newborn, and just think that they have to come and see the baby.
It's actually weird because in Asian culture theres a thing called the 40 days which is apparently supposed to be for the mother and child to rest, heal and bond. But how are they supposed to do any of those things with constant visitors.
My nani (nan) wanted me to sit and do the 40 days so I stayed home and did what she wanted for about 2 weeks just for her happiness sake, but couldn’t do it to the extent she wanted especially as I had to go to midwife appointments and see the health visitor etc. Sometimes you have to compromise and do things for your loved ones and of course they mean well.
My family in particular always go visit a mother and newborn who do the 40 day thing after the 40 days so that this time can be for the mother and child to bond and also heal.
Your life is completely changed and you need this time to adjust and slowly get into a routine.
Hopefully the new generation will understand this and bring a change.
Tayyibah asks: "What does it feel like being a mother?"
It feels surreal. A feeling you can't really describe to be honest. It is a beautiful feeling that comes with a lot of responsibility but every moment is a learning curve and a lovely feeling. The best feeling is seeing them smile and knowing you are the reason!!
Baraka Boutique asks: "How do you manage to get any rest after baby?"
You don't! And I wish somebody told me beforehand LOL. Especially if you're someone like me who loves their sleep. But the only way you can manage is support. Whether it's parents, your spouse, siblings, family or friends. Take any help you can because sleep deprivation is REAL. And I don't think people realise how serious it is, because if you aren't getting enough sleep then how can you look after a baby.
But I've only managed this far because of my mum and my husband. They allow me to get rest whenever I can but if I hear Eiliyah cry, I'm up in a second, so they think its pointless to give me time to sleep loooool. But I wouldn't have been able to do anything without them.
Madihah asks: "What's the hardest thing about being a Mum?"
The hardest thing is juggling time for yourself as your baby takes up all your time, and any time you do get to yourself you just want to sleep because of the lack of sleep.
Aleena asks: "What's married life like after a baby?"
Having a baby has a huge effect on your marriage. It just depends whether you let it become a positive change or a negative one. There will obviously be a change because to your marriage as there is a third person in your life and that life needs you and your partner both as he/she isn't able to fend for themselves. It means no more date nights, and no more chilling or doing things spontaneously. But if you're ready for the change then its the most beautiful thing seeing a little human in your home who is half you and half your loved one.
We still get to spend time and go on as normal as possible thanks to support from my family.
Pandora asks: "What were your initial birth plans and did it go to plan?"
So I made a birth plan well in advance, and NO unfortunately it didn't go to plan.
Not just one thing, but literally EVERY single bullet point I made. It all went out the window due to my high risk pregnancy.
I wished to have a water birth but you can't if your pregnancy is at high risk.
Salz asks: "Do you plan to show your baby's face?"
At the moment I'm not planning to due to her protection which was a joint decision made by me and my husband both. But maybe all in good time, when she's a little older. She's still quite small so not as yet but maybe soon..
Anum asks: "Being a young British Muslim mum what one teaching will you give you daughter to live by?"
I'll raise her to be a good Muslim to the best of my ability alongside my husband but I will teach her to be a good person before anything, and teach her to see the good in others, and not based on their colour, culture, race, shape or size.
Maya asks: "Who named Eiliyah?"
I gave my husband a handful of names that I liked. They all began with E as we decided if it was a girl her name would begin with E, and if it was a boy then M.
So out of all the names he liked Eiliyah because of the meaning.
Humaira asks: "Was baby's growth okay during pregnancy?"
Alhamdullilah her growth was amazing during pregnancy.
I took vitamins everyday, stopped my fizzy drinks, tea, coffee and junk food completely.
Samiya asks: "Initial reaction when you saw your baby?"
I cried.. And I'm not ashamed. I think after being in labour for so long, I just wanted it over and done with. Just wanted to hold her. I remember as soon as she came out I kept saying 'Alhamdullilah.. Thank you Allah' over and over again, even after they put her on my chest for skin to skin.
Tayyibah asks: "What does Eiliyah mean?"
The beautiful one to grow in love and peace with God.
Asma asks: "Formula or Breastfeeding?"
HOW DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT!?
So this question is the one that everyone keeps asking, so I thought I would leave it till last.
So I haven't lost all of it yet, or as much as I'd like but the reason I went back to normal was because I didn't put on too much weight. I put on the required amount during pregnancy as I took care of my diet and exercising. I made sure I stopped my caffeine completely. So no fizzy drinks at all, no tea or coffee. Just water, milk and juices.
I also didn't have too much junk or the fatty foods you're told to eat in Asian families.
Even now I am trying my best to eat healthy and not binge too much.
I drink as much water as possible even now.
If you guys do have anymore questions, I will do another Q&A soon and answer your questions.
Thanks for reading guys and keep up to date with me on Instagram! x