Saturday, 24 October 2015

How To Deal With Desi Aunties

So looking at the title of this blog post, you are probably thinking What on Earth!?
And I'm not going to lie, I'm like what on earth half the time myself when I encounter certain desi aunties. Nonetheless one day I will also be a desi aunty, but I don't want to fall into the stereotypical DESI AUNTY. If you know what I mean?
But a quick disclaimer this isn't for every Desi Aunty, but the majority. Nor is this aimed to offend anyone.

Now I know this isn't fashion or beauty related, but I like to incorporate lifestyle related stuff from time to time as it's realistic and we need something to relate to once in a while.

So the biggest problem nowadays is the clash between the elder generation and today's generation. 
Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with the elder generation and the way they think, as everyone has their own mentality and thought process. Things just get a tad difficult when you have opposing views under the same roof.
Now being a British born desi in a Western environment with an Eastern lifestyle can get pretty complex, and I'm sure alongside the Brits, my fellow Americans and Europeans also experience this!!

I feel the problem arises when things aren't being done the Desi way! 
There seems to be a very basic stereotypical norm on how a Desi girl should portray or carry herself; which by all means is fine; however it gets a little difficult when it doesn't realistically fit hand in hand in the environment you live in.

Now I know and understand that majority of the 'law enforced' by the aunties and society probably are for our betterment but it gets pretty irritating when it means they are constantly in your personal space and business. Not to mention half of their claims aren't even supported by religious attributes, and are more the 'cultural norm' (This is a whole other issue).

This is rather scary :P
I have had a lot of people tell me about their monster in laws, and the aunties in the society who constantly bring them down or put them down because they like to do things their own way. 
i just want to state there is NOTHING wrong with doing things your way, and the things you love as long as you aren't harming anybody, and have your morals and values intact that your parents raised you with. Be a good human being but still do what you enjoy.

You want to know the 'realest' yet 'saddest' part? Why is it always a woman who causes distress to another woman? This is the perfect example of a lacking of empowerment. 
Instead of going through the same phase, and being a woman herself, these aunties make other women's life hell! 

When I first started off my Youtube, and social media a lot of people found it strange, and not to mention classified it as 'socially unacceptable' as a young Pakistani girl I shouldn't be putting myself out there? What exactly does that mean? 
Funny enough my parents have been just as encouraging on the other hand, and have supported me throughout because alongside my day job, and pursuing a degree and getting educated, I am now doing something on the side that I absolutely love and have a passion for.

The purpose of this post isn't to make you turn completely rebellious against desi aunties or the ladies in the community (So don't come running behind me with your rolling pins aunties) but it is just to motivate you to never let people and society put you down or stop you doing something that you LOVE! Because life is way too short, and let's face it you aren't ever going to please everyone. 

The best way to go about it is be respectful like I'm sure everyones parents have taught them to be, be polite and caring but don't ever let anyone tell you that you're wrong or control your life.
The worst is when they cause drama and talk bad about your character when the same things are going on in their home. 

Best way to deal with it, don't let them get to you! Don't let them dictate your life. 

Last but not least, if it doesn't fit into religion, and is solely based on the cultural norm, you don't have to do it especially if it goes against religious teachings. Culture was made as a form of correcting society's morals and values but whats the point of such culture that contradicts your faith?

Aunties from the community have this thing where they like to be nosy and in everyone's business.
I'm sure if you've got this far, you know exactly what I mean!? The typical questions? When are you getting married? What have you studied? Where are you working? Was it love marriage or arranged marriage? 
So I leave you with this quote to think..

'Before asking such nosy questions remember Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said: "Part of the perfection of someone's Islam is LEAVING ALONE that which does NOT concern him." (Hadith 11, An Nawawi, Tirmidhi)

1 comment:

  1. Ezza! You are amazing. Everything you have said is just right. I totally understand the whole scenario, not too much. But it'll has happened, and to a point it gets irritating. Otherwise what have said is totally relateable and I love that about your posts.

    Rabiah x